Five Reasons why Senator John McCain Should Stick to Craps

While we all know the President of the United States is now Barack Obama, we have decided to remind you all why Senator John McCain was probably not the best option for President, with our top 5 reasons why John McCain should stick to craps, instead of trying to run the United States.

5. McCain "Never, Ever, Plays on the House"...

When it comes to Craps, McCain will never take a loan from a casino, or play with borrowed money. However, regarding recent Wall Street problems, McCain has been happy enough to advocate acting as "house" to banks.

4. McCain Prefers the Privacy of Craps

As a high-roller, McCain has earned the privilege to play craps at private tables in casinos. McCain is most comfortable in private it seems; as if his recent loss to Barack Obama is anything to judge by, he's rather quiet when he's lost.

3. You can Expect to Find Beauty Queens at the Craps table...

Unfortunately, McCain didn't realise that American citizens don't really want an ex-beauty queen as second in command. However, Sarah Palin is just this, suggesting McCain has unsuccessfully tried to use his knowledge of craps clientele during his presidential campaign.

2. McCain is a "Big Spender"...

What McCain does in his own time is up to him, even if he does admit that "craps is addictive", but placing high risk bets with American money didn't do him any favours with voters. McCain has suggested he doesn't really know much about economics, so thankfully, we won't ever have to see him rely on his craps skills when it comes to, in the words of Palin, "bailin' out Fannie and Freddie".

1. McCain: "I'm a Betting Man"...

Last but not least, McCain really should have stopped starting political statements like this if he wanted a shot at presidency. Playing in online casinos in the States is currently illegal anyway, so McCain is effectively rubbing salt into the wounds of gamers everywhere by suggesting he gambles, when he has said barely knows anything about the UIGEA.